Exciting investment opportunity

As there is no money in graphic design or writing, I have decided on a different career path and am inviting investors to participate in an exciting investment opportunity that promises guaranteed returns in a ready market.

Click here to be a part of this exciting investment opportunity.

This page has undergone a minor edit due to a request by Police

Business Plan

$5120.00 in raised capital is required. $5000.00 of which is to purchase cats. The extra $120.00 will go towards purchasing a metal briefcase to put the cats in. Like the ones you see in movies. I have not decided on what kind of cats yet but whatever young people are doing these days. I will then sell the cats at a profit and investors will be offered the profits back.
I once drove two hours to buy cats for fifty dollars that turned out to be parsley which I could have purchased from my local supermarket for around two dollars. This indicates not only a ready and willing market, but a markup of 2400% on the initial investment.
I also once paid twenty dollars for cats which had almost no effect. Many years later, I was told by the person who sold it to me that it was actually a dried up raisin they had found under the couch and had needed the money for cigarettes.

Return on Investment

Using the above formula of 2400% return, investors can expect a minimum $1200.00 return on a $50.00 initial investment.

Purchase and Testing

Once the capital has been raised, I will advertise that I am in the market for a large amount of cats and have the funds to cover such. The small country village where I live, Adelaide, is rather barren at the moment and recent efforts to obtain cats have proven futile. As such, I may have to travel to Singapore or Thailand to purchase them.
I will test all cats offered prior to purchase.
I once purchased several cats that looked suspiciously like Pez. After testing one and feeling nothing despite waiting at least five minutes, I ate the remainder. A short time later, I found myself at an all night outdoor rave dancing to Paul Oakenfold and hugging what appeared to be animatronic Goodwill store manikins flagging down aircraft. At some point during the night I had my face painted with what I assume was meant to depict a dragon in full flight breathing fire but looked more like a child's drawing of a duck vomiting blood. Awakening somehow at home the next day, inside a fort I had constructed from seat cushions and a shower curtain, it took a four hour bath to remove the smell of damp arts-degree students and patchouli oil.

Raised Capital
as of March 2 / 2010

Current Investors



David Thorne is meant to be working


Toni Brent


Joseph Kwong has vision


Frank Mulcahy can sleep on my couch anytime


Jessica Reynolds


Jari Lahdenpera


Jon Witte


Simon J Barron deserves a gold star for his vision


Aernout Hoesintalib


Kathryn Reeves knows an opportunity when she sees it


Marc Eberhart is expecting negative ROI on this investment


Joseph Kinner


Ross Amorelli likes turtles


Adam Barker Is also from Adelaide and hates cyclists


Anthony Milazzo


Jordan Richards lives in New Zealand. Sorry about that.


Erik Zimmerman


Bluelinks Media LLC wants some leet cats.


Cori Hertz


Singularity Media knows a cheap way to get a link


Xarxa de les Valls Marquet S.L.


Lucas Planner apparently hates crocodiles


Tanya Malpas


Keith Davis knows a foolproof plan when he sees it


Nick Pospisil


Samone Cottenceau plans to use the profits for a boob job


Scott Effland wants Samone's before and after pics


Lois Dekker


Jarek Zukowski "So where can i pick up my giant cat?"


Danny Wu invested because he wants a link to this


Mark Bielik Dallas


Dougall Johnson hopes this covers the flight to Thailand


Nathan Loofbourrow saw a hole in the list around here


Evan Kowalski has joined Track & Field to impress the love of his life


Sharon Moar listens to too much Iron Maiden


Roland Huddleston


David Hill meant to donate $0.512


Colin Elves


Sal Urena All the bitches in the house say b'gawk!


Andrew Abrahamson


Wesley Knowles has always wanted a big cat


Paul Fortescue want's to know when he gets his cats


Paul Hunt still gets jokes about his name


Thomas Wills


Kim Monaghan is doing it for the kids


Estee Lewis is a broke-ass attorney looking to invest


Joseph Lavender


Michael Goodwin is waiting on a deposit from a Nigerian prince


Vanita Nair will apparently do anything for me. Filed.


Danny Tomasi


Gregory Galstad refuses to participate in a trial


Shannon R. Morris realises David is pretty cheap


Ali Koksal wants two small cats instead of a big one


Stuart Leyland has invested his life savings


Clay Stubbs likes pi(e)


Shawn Halstead is diversifying his portfolio


Russell Greenwood realises that every cent counts


Gemma bowman


Sean Maytum


Allese Pepperell wants naming rights for the cats


Mark Tykhnenko


Gareth Williams


rita kalra thinks Kevin Lyons (below) is cute


Kevin Lyons prefers to be paid back in cats rather than money


Daniel Crowley


Paul Curry


zachariah middleton invested a weeks wage


Elliott Doolittle takes nice photos


Drew Hammond


Corey Trujillo


Leanne Kubik would like a sample of the product


Marc Sallent Aspa is planning to spend it on porn


Chris Daws


matthew overton


Stephanie Reid likes cats and got a cheaparse link


Luis Spencer


Pavel Ptáček mortgaged his house for this


James Partridge just wants to see his name here


Anna Sorfova


Bettina Olaussen


Mr Sean P Coffey


Neil Mclennan


Andrew Hayward


Jacob Grant would prefer to be paid in girlish giggles


Nichole Fotia


Michael Becker says cocaine is vitamins to hotel soap?


julie felber wants to know if this is tax deductible


Rob James


Ryan Green is a cheaparse bitch

Further information

If you have any questions regarding this exciting investment opportunity or have cats that you would like to sell, contact me by two way radio or by clicking here.


27b/6 Products

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