{"id":103,"date":"2005-09-17T00:27:32","date_gmt":"2005-09-16T14:27:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/?p=103"},"modified":"2005-09-17T09:10:36","modified_gmt":"2005-09-16T23:10:36","slug":"i-was-pissweak-now-im-president","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/?p=103","title":{"rendered":"I was pissweak, now I&#8217;m PRESIDENT- thanks to Deepends?!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was a pissweak dope from Texas.    <\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" vspace=\"0\" hspace=\"5\" border=\"0\" align=\"middle\" src=\"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/\/blogimages\/bush_potty_break_wine_glass_reuters.jpg\" alt=\"Ish zis Ripple or Boone's Farm? (Reuters)\" title=\"Ish zis Ripple or Boone's Farm? (Reuters)\" style=\"width: 238px; height: 302px;\" \/>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It got rilly embarrassing when I had to <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.editorandpublisher.com\/eandp\/news\/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1001137788\">ask Aunt Condi to take me out to wee wee<\/a> all the time. I was always making tinkle when important stuff was going on, like when I was sposed ta talk about bombs and guns and gas and stuff.  <\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"355\" vspace=\"0\" hspace=\"5\" height=\"450\" border=\"0\" align=\"middle\" src=\"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/\/blogimages\/bush_potty_break_note_reuters.jpg\" alt=\"Bush needs to go... NOW! (Reuters)\" title=\"Bush needs to go... NOW! (Reuters)\" \/>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Deepends&trade;<\/strong> turned me into a gen-u-<em><strong>wine<\/strong><\/em> statesman! Now I can <a href=\"http:\/\/www.worldwidewords.org\/qa\/qa-plo1.htm\" target=\"_blank\">suck plonk<\/a> with the best of &#8217;em and talk about <em>them <\/em>behind their backs when <em>they&#8217;re<\/em> off drainin&#8217; the lizard. <\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"400\" vspace=\"0\" hspace=\"5\" height=\"324\" border=\"0\" title=\"fillin' muh drawers- with confidence!\" alt=\"fillin' muh drawers- with confidence!\" src=\"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/\/blogimages\/bush_thumbs_up_deepends_1.jpg\" \/><br \/> &nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Thanks to <strong>Deepends&trade;<\/strong>, now I kin fill muh drawers- with confidence!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;-Dubya<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Deepends? turned me into a statesman!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=103"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}