{"id":78,"date":"2005-08-21T10:21:59","date_gmt":"2005-08-21T00:21:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/?p=78"},"modified":"2005-08-29T08:06:43","modified_gmt":"2005-08-28T22:06:43","slug":"pastafarians-and-evolution-in-your-own-back-yard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/?p=78","title":{"rendered":"Pastafarians and evolution in your own back yard"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
<\/div>\n

 \"and<\/a> <\/p>\n

image: Steve Sack for the Minneapolis Star-Tribune<\/a><\/em> <\/a><\/p>\n

I really can’t believe the evolution debate is still going on in 2005. It has always smacked of antiquated lunacies like a ‘flat earth<\/a>.’ While I acknowledge that I’m racing off into the land of ad hominem<\/em>, my experience is that the complete wrongability<\/a> of ‘intelligent design<\/a>‘  is usually promulgated by uneducated inbreds<\/a> who raise their kids in mobile homes in America’s Tornado Alley<\/a>…<\/em> which all by itself should have eliminated these idiots by natural selection many years ago. The freaky part is that bible-whacking morons are YET AGAIN trying to force their fairy tales to be taught in secular American public schools, alongside Darwin’s evolutionary theories, using remarkably ignorant dismissals such as ‘evolution is only a theory<\/em><\/a>.’<\/p>\n

I had the argument in about 1989 (when I apparently had much more patience for morons) on a much smaller scale, with a cross-swinging fool I used to work for. I bet the guy the price of lunches for a week that not only I could prove evolution works, but continues- in his own back yard. I postulated that I could prove the case for evolution with a lawnmower, and all Hilljack Bob had to do was not mow his grass for 2 weeks. Bob swallowed the bait. <\/p>\n

2 weeks later, I pointed out that there were no tall stemmed dandelions in areas of lawn that were frequently mowed, but there were<\/em> dandelions which formed flowers close to the ground, on very short stems. The dandelion flowers which escaped the 3" mower blade height were able to form their flower heads fully and go to seed, thus reproducing. The dandelions which formed flowers on stems taller than the mower’s cutting height were not able to reproduce. Consequently, short dandelions were much more prevalent in the frequently mowed areas. The successful dandelions had adapted to the hostile environment by ‘finding’ a way to reproduce despite the conditions. A small genetic mutation caused these dandelions to produce mature flower heads on very short stems. This trait had been selected for broad reproduction by preventing the tall ones from developing mature flower heads- and thus seeds. Voila!<\/em> Evolution in your own back yard. <\/p>\n

Hilljack Bob refused to pay up. He declared that earlier mowing must have stunted the existing plants, causing them to have short-stemmed flowers. I insisted that there was a DNA difference between the plants caused by a genetic mutation and that this difference would show up in un-mowed progeny, in the same way that a man whose leg has been amputated will not father one-legged children.  I hypothesised that I could prove that the mutation existed in the DNA by raising new dandelion plants with seeds collected from the short and tall types. Hilljack Bob bit in again. I collected seeds from both types and grew about 20 of each in small containers. Every single time<\/em>, seeds from short dandelions produced short progeny and seeds from tall dandelions produced plants which made flowers on tall stems; QED<\/a>.<\/em> <\/p>\n

You’d think by now that I’d have proven my case and got a week’s worth of free lunches. Nope. Hilljack Bob changed the rules of the game. He insisted that ‘God had seen him<\/em>‘ mow these dandelions and had induced the short flowering trait by His hand<\/strong><\/em>. <\/p>\n

The moral of the story is that there’s no such thing as a free lunch<\/strong><\/em> when you’re dealing with someone who refuses to accept scientific method or facts deduced using the same. <\/p>\n

Pastafarians<\/a> have accepted that bible-whacking morons<\/a> will introduce new rules when their belief-based ‘theories’ are proven wrong. Accepting the challenge to illuminate the ridiculous, Xeni Jardin over at Boing Boing<\/em> has offered $250,000<\/strike> $1 million<\/strong><\/a> to anyone who can prove conclusively that Jesus is not<\/em> the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, using the same circular, paradoxical logic and magical interventions proposed by creationists. <\/span><\/p>\n

Proponents of fairy-tales should look at this article<\/a> from Scientific American<\/em><\/a>.  Evolution is ‘just a theory,’ eh? <\/p>\n

Be prepared for American creationists to invent some new rules.<\/p>\n

-weez <\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Proponents of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, dubbed ‘Pastafarians,’ offer $US250,000 for proof Jesus is not the son of the FSM<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-78","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=78"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=78"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=78"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/machinegunkeyboard.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=78"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}