The tragedy of empty churches

Tonight as I was watching The 7.30 Report on my ABC, ACTU President Sharan Burrow was filmed steering her way along the hallway towards Barnaby Joyce. It was hard to make her out over the 85,000 signed petitions she had piled high on her trolley. As the cameras looked on Sharan took the time to remind Barnaby of the salient points that concerned Australians had asked her to raise with him. As the cameras moved on, all that could be seen, was Sharan making point after point and Barnaby listening and nodding (as well he should).

Cut to Barnaby in the studio. In answer to a question regarding his concerns about the Workplace Relations Amendment (WorkChoices) Bill 2005, Barnaby said,

“I’m not going to have the Anzac Day march weaving its way through the marauding shoppers. I’m not going to sit in my church on Christmas Day and have everyone glance around because their husbands or wives are at work and the legislation has changed. Those things have got to be fixed up. We’ve got to make sure that Good Friday doesn’t just turn into another day at the shops.”


He’s just had 85,189 people’s concerns delivered to him in the form of a petition (with comments) AND Sharan Burrow – SHARAN BURROW to remind him that the new workplace legislation will strip away one hundred years of respect for workers rights, remove legal protection for many employment conditions and set a new low for the future workplace conditions of Australian workers.

What does he come up with? What does this man, this man that we have pinned our hopes on tell us is important to him? – Jesus, Church and the ANZACS. What percentage of the 85,186 people who signed the petition do you think were worried about being able to attend church on Christmas day? Eek, egads and all that.

In the brave words of Dame Edna Everage,

“What a friend we have in cheeses.”

What a friend we have in cheeses

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15 Responses to “The tragedy of empty churches”

  1. Peter Reeves Says:

    Barnaby roared into parliament like a hotted-up V8 ute sans mufflers, scaring the dogs and frightening the children with his threats to cross the Senate floor.

    Yet in just a few short months he’s shown himself to be little more than a clapped out Kingswood fuelled entirely by piss and wind.

    The petition was a brave effort by Sharan, but nobody could seriously believe that Joyce offered any real hope over the IR laws, especially following his scathing criticism of Telstra’s plans to sack 12,000 workers just weeks after he voted to privatise the telco.

    “Sneaky” he thundered, apparently feeling vewy vewy angwy. Telstra behaving like rat-arsed bastards? Heavens Jemimah, who could have seen THAT coming?

    Really, the man is a fraud or a fool or both. Either way it’s time we stopped placing any hope in this fifth-rate Elmer Fudd act.

    One thing is clear – we can’t rely on politicians of any ilk to beat the IR laws. As occured in WA after the introduction of the Third Wave laws in the late ’90s they’ll simply have to be made unworkable and unenforceable in the workplace.

  2. Suki Says:

    Thank you Peter!
    I blame you for the coffee sprayed all over my monitor as I tried to drink it while reading your comment – Brilliant!

    All the cleaning up was worth it to get a great laugh out of this learner driver from Queensland. 🙂

  3. Ed Says:

    Agreed that it was a weak-as-piss response from “Maverick” but can’t help noting that there is a whole coalition full of other MPs and Senators that are weaker-than-piss.

  4. Greg Says:

    Joyce will vote in the IR laws, with our without public holiday or any other amendments. For all his pretextual pandering to an increasingly broad constituency of doubters, he’s just another party hack, indebted to the Libs for deigning to have a coalition with the Nats. “Cross the floor”? Not when it counts.

  5. weezil Says:

    Wondering when the truth-in-advertising laws will kick in in Barney. He’s about 3 for 4 on raising a stink in the meeeeja… and then voting with the government anyway.

  6. amanda Says:

    Either way its time we stopped placing any hope in this fifth-rate Elmer Fudd act.

    I don’t think that’s the idea, actually.

    Backdown Barnaby has set himself up as the man willing to cross the floor and vote with his conscience at all times. I say keep the focus on him, so that in five and half years’ time, there will be no-one left who will take him seriously.

  7. Brownie Says:

    Time for a second Eureka-type Stockade?
    Workers Of The World Unite! You have nothing to lose …

  8. Kate Says:

    What a friend indeed. Ed’s description was apt, but I agree with Amanda… even though I doubt it will take five and a half years.

  9. Greg Says:

    I wonder to what degree Joyce has set himself up (or been designated by his bosses) as the swing vote to purposely deflect a more broad-based approach by the opposition. By becoming the focus of everyone’s efforts, others slide by with little enough notice. He can easily enough ignore 85,000 signatures on a petition, but what about others in more marginal seats, for example? Maybe that’s a little too conspiracy-theory.

  10. Suki Says:

    It is curious to consider just how much of Joyce is orchestrated.
    Hmmm Senator Fielding (who?) 🙂 does slide off the poitical radar effortlessly…

  11. Dave Says:

    Fuck… I was planning on going shopping on the 25th of April next year… Damn Barnaby! Damn him to hell on Christmas day when he’s working in the Senate!!!

  12. mgk: Machine Gun Keyboard Says:

    […] Barnaby’s working hard for the people, you know. […]

  13. Suki Says:

    Sorry, you’ll just have to negotiate an extra shopping day (aka spiritual enlightenment or professional development day) into your AWA.

  14. Gerry Says:

    How about thinking outside the square…

    The churches are DESPERATE for new trainee priests.

    What does that tell you ?

    There’s an opportunity for INFILTRATION…

    Let’s all become trainee priests and priestesses…

    And change the churches from within…

    Too radical?

    Oh well…

  15. Suki Says:

    I’m quite happy to let the churches quietly fade away Gerry.

    And now that Bananarby 🙂 (with thanks to Matt Price) has saved Christmas, hopefully that’s the last we’ll hear of religion when we really want to know about our job security and what our kids look like these days…

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