In my youth I completed an Apprenticeship as a Florist. It’s a Trade in Victoria, with all the usual low wages, poor conditions, long hours, indenture, and exploitation. The first year weekly wage was $72.50 (after tax).

Even with all this, I loved being an apprentice Florist and no days more than Saturdays when all the freshly-proposed-to would come into the little ‘Weddings a specialty’ flower shop with either their bossy mother or their bossy maid-of-honour to order wedding flowers.

Their rings would sparkle almost as much as they did, with what I thought was the true love of it all. Even then my nascent cynicism was evident as after an hour of discussing the relative benefits of a Cascade bouquet with Stephanotis or Frangipani I would think

"Shit make a decision! It’s just a wedding bouquet."

Then, usually at about six weeks before the wedding the mother or maid-of-honour would come in upset saying that it was just so sad the wedding is off, and can we refund the deposit on the flowers?

Older and more cynical, with one of my brothers married for 26 days, I see weddings differently. Now I see them as,

1. validation of your union before your god
2. a rite-of-passage that most women feel measures their ‘success’ in society
3. a community sanctioned structure to raise children with everyone having the ease of the same surname

I once created a huge wedding bouquet for a girlfriend who before her 36th birthday believed that she was too old to marry. Because this made her sad, we as her friends organised a wedding-day-themed-dress-up 36th birthday party to cheer her up.

I’m not anti-love, and I’m not anti-let’s-give-it-a-go, but I am anti-dishonesty and Charles and Camilla have been profoundly mendacious. Unconditional, reciprocal love is so fundamental to a person’s wellness that it is not unreasonable to expect it from those you marry, as Princess Diana did.

"Bring him a virgin and make sure she’s fertile…"

…was what was overheard as Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother discussed Charles’ future.

I’m not sure if I applaud Camilla and Charles for their love-above-all-antics or they make me wretch as I remember the emotional abuse story that Charles’ previous wife told of living in a relationship with he-who-will-be-King and the ‘other woman’.

They will not be married in a church and I doubt either of them will be wearing white.

Either way I want to stay far, far, away from them both and I hope it doesn’t turn out to be a shotgun wedding…eek.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 11th, 2005 at 6:41 pm and is filed under Feminism, Life; barely possible, Social justice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Click to leave a comment.