Dual-harmonic oscillators, or my self-determining bits.

April 26th, 2010

Today is Boobquake 2010.

“On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own.  Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town.  I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts.  Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty.  With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake.  If not, I’m sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn’t rumble.  And if we really get through to him, maybe it’ll be one involving plate tectonics.”

I have been observing how various separatists, fundamentalists and bullies have been treating the fabulous Jen McCreight at Blag Hag and I have to say it is disappointing.  Nothing much seems to have changed in 30 years.  The perfect still try to trample the good.

Way back when I was a young feminist in the 1970s, I naïvely thought that oppressors were the ‘other’ gender. I have long since come to understand that oppression comes from any form of authoritarianism. It is blind to gender and more importantly, deaf to self-determination- and humour.

To this end I am dividing my breast best assets between two equally ridiculous oppressors.

Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi

and Sheila Jeffreys

One tells me I must cover my breasts to stop earthquakes and the other tells me I must cover my breasts to stop my own exploitation.

Neither of these authoritarian figures allow any self-determination for my thoughts, actions, or body bits and therefore I will begin by liberating my breasts.  I will no longer demand unquestioning acquiescence from them and they can amuse and direct themselves as they please.

To that end Breast left (BL) and Breast Right (BR) and by extension Nipple West (NW) and Nipple East (NE) have advised me through their agent that free fondling times are between 1200-1500.  Appointments taken.

Opprobrious Growth

November 10th, 2007

I keep wondering why the coalition’s Go for Growth campaign hardly ever has HoWARd and Costello doing a duet.

On Thursday- 08/11/07, I got a glimpse as to one explanation of this lack of ‘Go for Growth’ as a plural. The Coalition’s treasurer- Peter Costello was interviewed by Fran Kelly on her ABC Radio National Breakfast show. From the moment she introduced him as potentially Australia’s future Prime Minister, Costello was at his worst (or best, if like me you want him to help himself be totally unelectable). We all know he is tetchy and surly, but with Fran, his insufferable, misogyny and nastiness really surfaced. He wasn’t going to have any of her probing questions regarding a hubristic comment he made in an interview with fellow ABC Radio journalist Jon Faine.

“Fran, Fran don’t you worry about questions he (Jon Faine) asked me, they’re all on the transcript. You ask me your questions. ” – Source

The Liberal party knows that Costello is not a hit with the chicks and has deliberately reduced his visibility and is not mentioning the succession.

Women cannot bring themselves to vote for a government where Costello may eventually be in charge. It is evident that Peter Costello palpably dislikes strong, smart and powerful women. He is the unpleasant growth that we are supposed to Go for. However, we have booked an appointment to remove the bunion, wart and itchy verruca.


Image from here

Hurdling Girdles

May 24th, 2007

I have been watching Kevin Rudd intently and frankly, I have been concerned about some of his statements.

Today, all that changed, when I heard how forcefully and naturally Kevin spoke about his wife- Therese Rein, her business, women, work and the realities of interpersonal relationships in the year 2007.

“The reality we are dealing with here is this is the age of professional women who run their own companies who have their own lives and are not simply the appendages of middle-aged men.”-the PM in waiting.

I had no idea I would be so pleased to hear this level of sincerity, in what, sadly, seems to be a radical view of women in society, coming from the mouth of a politician.

I guess it takes me back to the insufferable ritual the meet and greet with our current PM and his wife used to be. Thankfully my current work is nowhere near as ‘sexy’ as previous roles, and I am spared the cringe-inducing spectacle that is the PM and Mrs HoWARd.

At every meeting with Mrs Janette Howard, she was an insipid, beige-y, girdled, dour, lightweight, appendage-like chore of a woman.

Kevin Rudd is all the more attractive, now that I know that he is the appendage of Therese Rein.


Image from here


May 3rd, 2007

What better way to sum up HoWARd’s government and the things that really have had their time, than his sexist reaction to the ALP’s IR policy.

On 28/04/07, Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard announced Federal Labor’s Fair And Balanced Industrial Relations Policy.

The policy was not gender specific with regard to the Parental leave and Flexible work for parents provisions.

2. Parental leave – Federal Labor recognises that many families want to have a parent provide all or most of the care for a child during the first two years of the childs life. A Rudd Labor Government will guarantee that both parents have the right to separate periods of up to 12 months of unpaid leave associated with the birth of a baby. Where families prefer one parent to take a longer period of leave, that parent will be entitled to request up to an additional 12 months of unpaid parental leave from their employer. The employer may only refuse the request for the additional 12 months leave on reasonable business grounds. This will guarantee that Australian working families have the flexibility of up to 24 months unpaid leave to provide care for their child.

3. Flexible work for parents – A Rudd Labor Government will guarantee a right for parents to request flexible work arrangements until their child reaches school age. Employers will only be able to refuse any request on reasonable business grounds.

John HoWARd, occupying redundant thinking on a redundant time line instantly came out with this assumptive howler-

“You run the risk that some employers will avoid employing women, in particular, with young children.” – John HoWARd.

What’s incredible is that HoWARd demanded an apology from the buffoon for this, but did not for a second consider the offensiveness of his own remark.

It must be time to be rid of the pre-Copernican obscurantist.


Image from here

Girlcotting, or feminising the work

April 21st, 2007

Why might it be that the practice of terminating a pregnancy would be an ethical issue for more and more doctors in Britain? Some doctors have been anti-abortion for their entire career, but in recent times an increase towards anti-abortion doctors is being observed.

Is this because more and more doctors are Christian or pro-life, or is it because they see performing an abortion as menial and unglamorous work?

A recent article reports:

“There has been a big rise in young medics with ‘conscientious objections’ to abortion. The increase has been revealed by the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists. It says there is evidence of a ‘slow, but growing problem’ of young doctors opting out of abortion training on moral grounds.” -Source

“Medically, abortion really isn’t a popular thing to do, it is not a very technical or demanding operation and it’s actually quite disheartening. There’s no handshakes or slaps on the backs afterwards, or the sense that you’ve done something great for someone. The best you can hope for is a sense of relief that it is over.” -Dr. James Gerrard.

This potential shortage of doctors qualified, experienced and willing to perform abortions has prompted abortion advocates to call for a change in the current British law which would allow nurses to carry out early surgical and medical abortions. Trained nurses and paramedics in Vietnam and South Africa perform early abortions extremely successfully and have done so for some time.

I would welcome having the option of having an abortion performed by a suitably trained nurse or paramedic. It makes sense to be cared for by a professional who is often female, always available and genuinely pro-choice.

Moreover, we should resist doctors who pathologise our bodies and our desires, AND abrogate our rights . Boycott these doctors in favour of the ones who will treat your elbow with the same care and attention as your vulva.

As for the Hospital of St John and St Elizabeth in North London, I would not recommend it as a place for a woman expecting a holistic service.


Image from here