Kid you not.

Candidates ‘should declare sexual preference’

The Family First candidate in the far north Queensland seat of Leichhardt says voters have a right to know the sexual preference of all candidates contesting the federal election.

A report in today’s Courier-Mail newspaper says Family First’s Ben Jacobsen demanded that the Liberal candidate Charlie McKillop declare if she is gay.

Mr Jacobsen, who is against gay relationships, says he was not targeting Ms McKillop, but speaking generally about every candidate.

“Look I think this is a public office, this is a person that’s going to represent Leichhardt in our House of Representatives,” he said.

“I think the public have a right to know the values that you’re going to pursue in Parliament.”

Well, silly me, of course they do.

But you know, there’s a lot of big words involved in describing the way one likes to rub one’s uglies that not all Family First voters can understand. You certainly wouldn’t elect a serial masticator to pubic orifice, would you?

A simple system of buttons or badges (not unlike this novel implementation) must be adopted immediately to assure that Parliament doesn’t itself become a hotbed of pansexual polyswitches which takes its weekly delivery of water-based lube in 44 gallon drums.

(remainder of post contains nudity) (more…)