The HoWARd all-in-one terrorism ankle bracelet
Wednesday November 02nd 2005, 6:42 pm

 
 

John HoWARd has managed to get his   dissent  terrorism laws past the state and territory leaders. While Steve Bracks says the shoot-to-kill provisions have been removed,   dissent   terrorism suspects can still be placed under house arrest.

To make the home imprisonment more helpful to those wrongthinking   dissenters   terrorists, the R&D department of HoWARd Fascism Industries Pty Ltd have introduced the all-in-one terrorism ankle bracelet. It’s government- wherever you go!

It’s a GPS tracker! A 24/7 AM/FM propaganda receiver! Handy pedometer counts how many times the   dissent  terrorism suspect paces around their bedroom to help with weight control! Fair wage inhibitor gives an electric "tickle" when the   dissent   terrorism suspect tries to get fair pay and conditions! Plays MP3 files of John HoWARd speeches! Bluetooth mobile phone capacity allows the   dissent   terrorism suspect to call the National Security Hotline on themselves at any time! Automatic sedition detector and built in stereo surveillance microphones will have ASIO at dissent terrorism suspect’s doors just when they are about to sedit!

Get yours today! Put it next to your fridge magnet.

-weez 


7 Comments so far
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This weekend may be the last time we can do this and not fear punishment for peaceful dissenting.

Comment by suki 11.02.05 @ 8:54 pm

You bring the cardboard, Suki- I got the texters.

Comment by weezil 11.02.05 @ 9:36 pm

Weez old fruit, I am not sure what your comment about the white image meant … I can see an image just fine … I assume you are referring to the Red Card ?

Luv yer site …. great that Soooooooki’s on board too.

w

Comment by Boondoggler 11.02.05 @ 9:37 pm

When I last looked at your blog, it had a white background in both IE & Firefox. Just checked again now and it has a blue b/g in IE, but there is no b/g image in Firefox.

Thanks for the compliment. Soon as we move hosts- again- we’ll be getting some guest WordPress blogs going.

Comment by weezil 11.02.05 @ 9:42 pm

Oh I’m sorry. According to new anti-terrorism laws, you aren’t actually allowed to touch your keyboard. That seemingly harmless accounting software you’re designing might actually be bought by a terrorist in 582 years’ time, and therefore you are responsible for everything that terrorist does. That letter you’re writing will be printed on 98% recycled copy paper, which means there is a 98% chance that you are a terrorist. That seemingly innocent fantasy wargame you’re hack and slashing at tells us, the omniscient and omnipresent government, that you are psychologically unstable, and that you actually believe this stuff is real. Because of this, you might believe in something else that you are not allowed to believe in via Subclause 22.2.6.8.3 part B. Please shoot yourself in the head right now. YOU HAVE A GUN?! OMFG! CALL IN THE FEDERAL POLICE!

Jesus Christ. When will it end?

Comment by Binnsy 11.02.05 @ 11:22 pm

This is the old model.

The latest one has a Green LED for model citizen, and a red LED for a sedition occurance (once red it stays red) – then either sends a high-voltage discharge into the ankle, or (depending on the model) sprays a discharge of permanent dye with a particular hue that will be known as “dissenter terrorist red”.

Comment by larry bonewend 11.03.05 @ 8:15 pm

Will my knees short it out? Does it come with a kilojoule counter? Will we recieve subliminal messages from our beloved leader? Will we have to pay copyright on the download?
Oh just shoot us!
Oh, that’s next 🙁

Comment by JahTeh 11.04.05 @ 10:08 am



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