Australia for tourists; a spotter’s guide
Friday January 27th 2006, 4:39 pm

When visiting Australia, you should not be surprised to hear that Aussies are enthusiastic about the place. What’s not to love about a sunny spot on the planet with people who are good natured, pragmatic and daggy in a laconic kind of way?

Despite the recent race riots in Cronulla and the attempts of Australia First to capitalise on fear and hatred under the guise of loving good ol’ Australia, it’s still possible to run into ‘real’ Aussies; good people who talk up the place like they love it, because they do- without being racist, xenophobic nutbags.

If you’ve just gotten off the plane, here’s how to spot the difference between an Aussie patriot and a species we know as the ‘yobbo.’ Stick figures should make this understandable in any language.

Please don’t feed the yobbos. Photography merely encourages them. Do not give beer to yobs under any circumstances, unless of course, they are on fire.

-weez


15 Comments so far
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Just to clarify – you mean that if they’re on fire you drink the beer and piss on them right?

Comment by Ben 01.27.06 @ 8:42 pm

That’s exactly what I meant, Ben. But why didn’t I write that? What was I thinking?

Using perfectly good beer to extinguish a flaming yobbo is indeed wasteful. :D

Comment by weezil 01.27.06 @ 8:49 pm

THAT’s why it’s not on to burn the flag- the risk that some howard voting retard is wrapped in it.

Comment by Armaniac 01.28.06 @ 12:44 pm

Dunno, if you own the flag you’re burning, you should not be committing an offence.

Comment by weezil 01.28.06 @ 12:46 pm

Not a nationalist by any length, but people wrapping themselves in the flag offends me no end.

Other good stuff about Australia – our smaller beer breweries. F*st*rs & most generic beer still sucks big ones.

Comment by cileo 01.29.06 @ 11:49 am

Thanks for popping in, cil. Of course, I agree that wrapping yourself in a flag is a disrespect. I suppose that if it’s your flag, you can do with it what you like, but you will still look like a redneck yobbo moron when wearing one as a cape.

Comment by weezil 01.29.06 @ 12:14 pm

Pfff, I prefer wwearing a REAL cape. Just like Supermans. With no Union Jack of course.

Comment by cileo 01.29.06 @ 8:41 pm

cileo, a cape & a slab of VB stubbies renders yobbos bulletproof.

Comment by weezil 01.30.06 @ 12:57 pm

I’m laughing here but I’m not sure why.

I love flags and I have successfully made a few.
I love the Australian flag and see no reason why it should change.
The Union Jack could of course be replaced by depiction of a Fosters can (sorry cileo).

Comment by Brownie 01.30.06 @ 1:39 pm

Brownie, I guess it’s a matter of context. I have no particular opposition to display of a flag, but should it be a fashion accessory? If it is employed a garment, what message is one sending?

Mind, I’m not one to hold flags sacrosanct. Mark Twain once said “Sacred cows make the best hamburger.” I grew up in the USA, being a kidkid in the Vietnam War era 1960s & 70s. Having a US flag sewn in to one’s patched and tatty blue jeans was very much a valid political protest, indicative of the tatty state of the nation when embroiled in an unnecessary and invalid war. Burning a flag is a relatively harmless but strong political message, too. Where I come from, they call it freedom of speech.

However, it you’re pissed as a newt and wrapped in the Aussie flag, just what is it you’re telling the world?

Comment by weezil 02.01.06 @ 1:08 pm

It’s good to see you Aussies working harder than ever to exterminate the White race down under!!

We’ve only a few decades to go until Australia is free of the scourge of evil White people!!

So whats next on the agenda?

Keep calling them racists
Keep saying they’re stirring up race hate

Your name calling is clearly working!!

IP 69.180.65.101
c-69-180-65-101.hsd1.fl.comcast.net

Comment by Whitey Hater 02.02.06 @ 2:37 pm

Good to have you aboard, WH.

Would you like to add anything about the ZOG controlled media while you’re at it?

You smell like Don Black. Very StormFarty, in fact.

Race is an illusion. Racism is fear of the unknown. Wake up and smell the DNA. The future is in worldism, not racism. I travel freely between continents and vote on a couple of them, too. When was the last time you left your own backyard?

Don’t burn down your local Chinese restaurant. It’s probably your favourite place to eat.

Comment by weezil 02.02.06 @ 2:45 pm

Our local Indian restaurant is tops. The bloke who runs it speaks in a strine broader than most of the local clientele.

Comment by cileo 02.03.06 @ 3:38 pm

[...] Weezil over at Machine Gun Keyboard shows tourists in easy stick figures and short sentences with little words how to identify sub-groups of Australians. This made The Editor laugh so hard it must be spread far and wide.   [...]

Pingback by GrodsCorp » Blog Archive » Australia for Dummies 02.08.06 @ 9:08 am

Hater wrote:

Keep calling them racists
Keep saying they’re stirring up race hate

And if that nasty New World Order keeps putting up speed limit signs, there’s no one to blame but the gubmint when you get booked for speeding, is that it? You’re being RADICALISED and anyone but you is to blame. I see. :lol:

As a matter of fact, my ‘name calling,’ which is in fact merely putting racism in the context it deserves, really has had an effect. Now Australian media shames racist yobs instead of apologising for them as they did in 2005.

Win. :)

Comment by weez 01.31.09 @ 7:48 am



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