The arrival earlier in the week of the Cunard luxury liners Queen Mary 2 and Queen Elizabeth 2 drew thousands of Sydneysiders to the foreshores to get a glimpse of the mammoth pair of ships- gridlocking traffic around Sydney Harbour.
US Vice President Dick Cheney is presently winging his way from Japan to Sydney to engage in a little vice of his own. Big Dick’s appearance is expected by NSW Police to have similar effects on Sydney’s traffic as the big ships – but definitely not due to throngs of admirers clogging our streets.
Unlike Sly Stallone’s private jet, I doubt Cheney’s US Air Force plane will be searched by Australian Customs. If they did, they’d be sure to find some powerful date-rape drugs in Cheney’s possession. Face it- Cheney couldn’t possibly go fuck himself without being really whacked on serious dope. Let’s hope Big Dick’s gentle with his… err… himself.
Would some kind and generous Sydneysiders PLEASE overlook the Vice President’s brusque and extremely arrogant manner to at least help look after the poor man’s health? If you’re in Sydney and happen to see Dick, be a good sort and throw him a handful of condoms. Cheney’s already got a dicky ticker- I’d hate to see The Dickster battling a nasty venereal disease, which he would surely contract from unprotected sex with himself. CONDOMS for DICK!
And hey- all you wussies over at Democrats Abroad Australia, who say they will not protest the appearance of the American President of Vice… you can go fuck yourselves too. Delete my membership now, OK?
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