Aus net censorship: Something for everyone
Friday December 19th 2008, 7:55 am

Internet censorship in Australia is definitely all inclusive.

Here’s a scan of a fresh, crisp $50 note, courtesy of the gubmint’s $1400 economic stimulus bonus to disabled pensioners, of which I’m one, thanks to complications of injuries sustained by being dashed off a motorbike by a stupidly drunk woman who ran a red light in front of me.

a small wager

Prime Minister Kevin ‘holy crap, the banks are about to crash on my watch’ Rudd will be happy to know I’m TRYING to spend this pineapple, though I haven’t yet, doubtless assuring the death of all Aussie businesses until I do.

Senator Stephen ‘we’re the gubmint, we can do anything we want, whether it’s technically possible or not’ (a.k.a. ‘Dodger‘) Conroy and Family First’s Senator Steve unrepresentative swill Fielding- go ahead, ban a porny website– or any website. Let me know the URL you’ve banned. If I can’t show you the contents of that site in under 1 minute (plus 87% gubmint filter-induced lag time), this $50 is yours. If I can show you said banned website contents, you cats get to give me one of your ‘stimulus’ fifties.

Senator Nick ‘No Pokies‘ Xenophon will be brassed off about me promoting gambling on the internet.

Senator Bob fruit with wild hickory nuts by vegetable-fat candlelight’ Brown will be miffed that I’m thoughtlessly attempting to circulate a currency note, which in Australia are made from plastic, ultimately sourced from crude oil and printed on coal-fired electricity powered lithograph presses.

Any number of pensioner and welfare-recipient-hating far-right loonbags will demand that I have no business gambling with my pension payment, which I shouldn’t have anyway, in their minds. I’m apparently supposed to have dropped dead when I lost the ability to work. I’m working on dropping dead, but the way things are going, with my moderate weight, absence of alcohol consumption and good diet, much from my low-food-miles backyard veggie patch, I expect I’ll be a burden on society for another 40-50 years or so.

So, you pair of Steves- show me the freakin’ money– and let’s get busy quibbling about whose political priorites will trump whose when Conroy gets his mandatory filtering in place.

-weez


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