The Duchy of Grand Fuckwit
Tuesday June 09th 2009, 12:50 am

In a tale mirroring the 1959 Peter Sellers flick The Mouse That Roared, North Korea has (claimed to have) set off nuclear bombs, fired a few missiles toward Japan and now has kidnapped two US journalists from Chinese territory, spirited them into NK territory and has convicted them of spying in a show trial, sentencing them to 12 years in notoriously brutal prison labor camps.

The only possible outcome Pyongyang must expect is to get bombed into prime carpark real estate and hope the US will pay to rebuild it.

Your move, Mr Obama.


6 Comments so far
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N Korea ‘using reporters as bargaining chips’

well, duh. NK’s entire MO is blackmail.

Comment by weez 06.09.09 @ 1:56 pm

Absolutely, weez. NK’s activity has been based on blackmail ever since the Soviet Union fell and a massive amount of their funding dried up.

China keeps them there on a shoe-string supply of money and raw materials. They probably have many reasons for this, one of the most obvious being that it’s a heavily mined, heavily militarised, nutball regimed buffer zone from US bases in SK and Japan.

The NK regime has been rattling the cage hard lately which shows they must be getting desperate for funding and raw materials to keep the regime in all their disgusting Stalinist, militarist, fascist, freedom robbing, famine mongering glory alive. Add to that what must be a tense internal political time with a successor needing to be chosen soon before Kim Jong-Il dies.

It seems hardliners (how hard do you have to be to be a hardliner in NK?) in the military are consolidating their power further internally during this unstable time. They are also testing nuclear weapons and slowly but steadily working their way up to missiles capable of deploying nuclear weapons. They are desperate for funding and materials. But perhaps they are getting so desperate that they are indicating that they may have nothing left to lose soon and will carry through their threat. It’s hard to tell I guess. How does one read a country like that?

As you’ve said, the immediate concern is somehow getting those US journalists out of that place before their lives are completely ruined (or they’re killed). Not sure how Obama will play this one.

Comment by tp 06.09.09 @ 7:35 pm

Clearly desperation.

If NK does carry through with any threat, be that nuclear or a conventional strike on SK or Japan, it’ll be 1953 all over again.

I expect Obama to give them a few hundred tonnes of bunker oil to release the hostage journos. After that, all bets are off.

Comment by weez 06.10.09 @ 8:07 pm

WE cant just ask them to do things. The USA must become more socialist, and South korea as well, also the anti-communist forces occupying SK need to go.The current SK president’s a conservative capitalist lunatic. He needs to go.

NK’s actions are justified, they are provoked by the capitalists that vehemently oppose communism, Obama is to break that barrier down.

Comment by anonymous 06.19.09 @ 9:49 pm

now NK has Nukes an Iraq like episode will not ever happen. Seriously id prefer jong il over saddam. Because his time is almost over and he is more sane.

Comment by anonymous 06.19.09 @ 9:52 pm

anonymous quoth:

NKs actions are justified, they are provoked by the capitalists that vehemently oppose communism, Obama is to break that barrier down.

Why yes, I see your point. Completely justified. American objections to totalitarian societies are utterly groundless, necessitating the demonstration of military might. Scaring the crap out of the Japanese and South Koreans and blaming it on the USA is a wise course of action. For that reason alone, Australia’s Ruddite Socialists must at once move to use our vast natural deposits of uranium to build a powerful nuclear deterrent to the evil US capitalists, who might lend Australian banks money to run our financial system or something. Too many Australians own homes and cars. This is bad and must stop. Bring on the Australian collective farms. They worked so well in the USSR & PRC.

now NK has Nukes an Iraq like episode will not ever happen.

I’d bet the farm on that supposition. No way Obama would negotiate with China for a joint military action intent on regime change, even if China’s left in charge. NK’s lightweight nuclear bombs only require a paper airplane to serve them up against Topeka, Kansas, so Obama better listen and listen good.

Seriously id prefer jong il over saddam.

Yeah, Kim’s gulags keep people alive, while Saddam would just sorta nerve-gas them on the spot. This is of course much more humanitarian. If Kim does not receive a Nobel Prize for human rights, it will clearly be proof of a capitalist conspiracy against him.

Because his time is almost over and he is more sane.

Kim is very sane- compared to Stalin.

I do understand your motivation to spruik up communism. No other economic or political system has ever served a people better, n’est ce pas?

Comment by weez 06.27.09 @ 8:36 am

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