I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I was much, much luckier, but 28 months later, the crash I was in still affects me — and it’ll affect the man who hit me for life.

On March 21 2008, at 11:31pm, I was driving to my husband’s work to pick him up (in, oddly enough, a white Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme). I was going 55 (the limit) on cruise control.

A man (whom I won’t name because many others share his name and I wouldn’t want people to think it was them) had left a bar at the other end of the highway, with a .24 BAC. That’s 3 times the legal limit, for those playing along at home. He hit a taxi as he turned onto the highway, bounced off, and headed in my direction at over 70mph on the wrong side of the meridian.

I had just come around a curve when I realised the headlights approaching weren’t on the other side — they were in my lane. Thankfully, the road was fairly deserted at the time (he had gone several miles before reaching me!) and I had room to swerve. What I didn’t have was time. Our front left corners met.

Suffice to say, both cars were totaled. We both had to be removed from our cars with the jaws of life. I was amazingly lucky: the airbag went off and the dashboard ended up in my lap, but no further. I was on crutches for a month or two, and later needed surgery to remove a shard of glass from my hand. At this point, most of my injuries seem to be healed, aside from a little nerve damage and some apparently permanent bruising.

He lost a leg. He was already a paraplegic, and had a DUI from the ’70s or ’80s on his record (a time when, the cop said, “You really had to TRY to get one.”). Whether those two facts were related, no one seemed to know. Regardless, he went to jail for 18 months — and that was the plea bargain. It would have been longer if any of us (me, the taxi driver, the taxi passenger) had been more seriously hurt.

So for those too selfish even to care what happens to those you hit: are your leg and a year and a half of your life worth cabfare home? How about the rest of your life? Because yes, it really CAN happen to you.

Then again, the people like that… they probably won’t bother to read this.

NK, thanks for reading and telling your story. Please pass this one along, especially to the teens and 20somethings in your life. It’ll sink in to some of them, though I’m equally sure that a lot of them think getting busted driving drunk is a really unfair inconvenience that impinges on their right to a good time.

You are courageous to immerse yourself in this memory every decade, weez. Traumatic events have a way of never leaving our psyche. I have often wondered why.

Your recollections, no doubt painful, demonstrate the usefulness of never forgetting and bravely telling. First-person stories are powerful and yours is surely that!

Mary, (and those like you) read, listen and change!

Weez, your remembering, I hope is cathartic.

Excellent post. Nothing can replace what you have lost yet your response to what happened compared to hers speaks volumes about your individual characters.

The feeling and thoughts you so accurately describe as the car is about to hit you is a horrible thing…it makes it real hard to get back on the (motor or push)bike even if a person (and by that I mean me) has managed to walk away relatively unscathed compared to yourself.

Is this her on linked in? http://www.linkedin.com/pub/mary-slafkosky/6/754/704

Yep, that’s her, Michael.

I came by this while doing an address search for Mary. While I am in no way minimizing what happened to you Michael, please know that, but to seek some type of revenge 20 years later by posting this seems to resolve nothing. I have known Mary for many years, possibly when this happened, as I am from Indiana. Mary does not resemble your description above. Did she make a mistake, yes, and for that I am sorry for you. But people do make mistakes. Bad things happen to good people, you and Mary. As Christians, we have to dig deep and forgive those that have wronged us. Knowing Mary as I do, I am quite sure this probably still eats at her as I know she would never intentionally set out to hurt anyone. Mary may be a horrible person in your eyes which I can somewhat understand; however, I have seen her do many good things for many people. Did this happen? Yes, unfortunately it did, to both of you, but I hope you find a little peace in hearing Mary is not the horrible person you describe. 20 years ago a terrible thing happened for which I hope you some day find your strength to forgive.

My name is not Michael.

Fuck christians.

I’m under no obligation whatsoever to forgive anyone, let alone someone who couldn’t raise her eyes off her shoes to even so much as apologise.

Mary IS a horrible person.

You are not helping, TC. It might be a very good time for you to fuck off and not come back.

Funny thing, TC…..You say you’ve known Mary for many years, yet did not know of this incident. Doesn’t appear to be eating her up much, I’d say. Shame on you for condoning irresponsible and unatoned for behavior.

My name *is* Michael – and no connection to this. While it is up to weez to forgive (he can never forget – gosh I could never forget or forgive) I reserve my right to be angry on other peoples behalf.

It is not unreasonable to be upset by the inequity in their 2 situations: Mary seems to have done well. What is galling is her behaviour at the time – not at the time of the accident, but after – but using her position (which would be illegal in most other countries) and influence as well as lawyers (which is legal) to weasel out of guilt. And never *ask* for forgiveness – never acknowledge the crime.

Also “be sure your win will find you out”.

This was a horrible mistake – compounded by abhorrent behaviour – is it to much to expect Mary to ask for forgiveness for her crime? she never has.

hahaha “win == sin” – actually that is kind of a funny mistake.

Weez…our thoughts are with you; you are a courageous soul.

As for Mary and her idiotic poster supporter TC, you are completely clueless. Mary has had 20 years to open her mouth and apologize and not a word has come from her. How do you explain 20 years of being a consistent douchebag. I don’t forgive Mary at all. She should be send Weez a monthly support check and a flowers every week. Mary is awful.

Thanks, Gilligan- I agree.

Mary is a douche, end of story. Total douche. 100% fucking douche! For TC to cite her right to forgiveness makes him a douche by association. Call yourself a christian? I think perhaps you’re forgetting that in most (all?) religions, to recieve forgiveness you first have to ASK. Whatever God you believe in, even he/she does not forgive unless you repent. Has Mary repented? Not to the person she has caused such pain and suffering to, by the sounds of it. Like I said – DOUCHE!

I gotta say- 4 months down the track from TC’s comment, I’m still utterly slack-jaw stunned at the attempt to excuse the behaviour of a drunk driver who left me for dead and with lifelong injuries.

Drunk driving is a premeditated crime, from beginning to end. If you drink and drive, you’ve decided that your ‘right’ to party exceeds the rights of others to be alive and unharmed.

No. No fucking way.

Jaimes and Weez, you remain perfectly correct. Mary wins the Lifetime Douchebag Crown literally running away. It’s amazing how people try to defend evil, cowardice and wretchedness instead of speaking the ugly truth. If TC had an ounce of so-called Christianity in her, she’d march Mary to your doorstep to do her eternal penance instead of defending the Satanic Mary. Keep up your spirit, Weez.

My then seven year old daughter and I were hit by a drink driver in 2006, she sustained a brain injury and was in a coma for 2 weeks, and I was in hospital for three months with many physical injuries. The driver, however, was devastated at what he had done. I agreed to speak to him on the phone, and we talked a lot, this was a very important part of my family’s recovery and I agree that Mary has deprived you of much healing by refusing to acknowledge what she has done to you! I wish you luck with your physical issues, and Mary, if for some reason you are reading this, contact this man!!

Weez Just read your story it sickens me but I see Mary is now the Associate Vice President of Institutional Advancement at Indiana Tech nice that her career has carried on. Just would love to ask them if she divulged her DUI arrest upon her hiring at Indiana Tech .Wouldn’t want someone like her working besides me. Drunken unapologetic sow she probably still continues to be

Hi suereel, thanks for the update.

Yep, there she is.

Mary’s looking well.

Hi Anna, sorry about my late reply to your comment. To be painfully honest, I don’t visit this post very often- I have plenty of reminders of the event.

I hope you and your daughter are coping well. I say ‘coping’ because there’s never a return to ‘before.’ You will both live with your memories and injuries for the rest of your lives. That you got an actual apology from your drunk driver may soften the way you react when you remember, but everyone who has turned an ignition key while drunk should know that your results and mine are a very real possibility.

I hope Mary thinks about me from time to time, but my strong suspicion is that she works very hard to avoid such memories.

I worked with Mary Slafkosky in the mid 2000s. Her nickname around the office was “Teflon Mary” because no matter how unscrupulously she behaved (and she most certainly behaved unscrupulously), nothing ever seemed to “stick.”

And she definitely loved her booze. I heard her discussing her enjoyment of it often.

It has been said that, “Drinkers graduate to a DUI.” The odds are overwhelmingly against a DUI citation having been the result of a person’s first time being drunk behind the wheel.

As you state in your account, I don’t for a moment believe that July 25, 1990 was Mary Slafkosky’s first experience driving drunk–and I don’t believe it was her last.

I’m so sorry your life was touched by Mary Slafkosky.

Thanks for your note. For some odd reason, Google ranks pages from mgk very highly. The longer this page remains online, the more bits of information trickle in as people find it.

I hope Mary’s given up the sauce by now. If not, surely, one of these days, I’ll read here about how Mary has wounded or killed someone else.

Reading Weez’s account made me so angry.

Where’s the justice in this world if someone like Mary can so profoundly damage another person’s quality of life and then continue on as happy as a lark? Especially after she fled the scene of the crime. (And make no mistake. It is a crime.)

No apology. No acceptance of responsibility. No meaningful recompense.

And then I hit that repulsive weaselly post from TC, with his/her: “But people do make mistakes. Bad things happen to good people, you and Mary.”

Oh, a ‘bad thing’ happened to Mary? REALLY?

I realise that post was from years ago, and TC will most likely never visit this page again, but I can’t help but comment on what a dishonest sniveling piece of dirt TC is.

TC, Mary WAS the BAD THING. It was HER!

And how dare you then say: “Did this happen? Yes, unfortunately it did, to both of you”

Oh yes, POOR MARY, who got drunk, drove, nearly killed another person, and fled the scene. We should all spare a thought for POOR MARY who effectively ruined someone else’s life and then sailed off into the sunset.

What kind of loathsome slimy sewer rat says, “20 years ago a terrible thing happened”, as if it was just some random occurrence, for which Mary bears no responsibility.

This did not just *happen*. MARY DID IT. Mary drove while intoxicated and seriously injured another person, leaving that person to deal with the repercussions for the rest of his life.

TC is completely and utterly dishonest. How disgraceful it is to wear one’s Christianity as though it is a badge giving you some kind of pious right to pretend that Mary is blameless — and worse, a victim!

Unbelievable.

Mary Slafkosky, currently working nonchalantly as
Associate Vice President Institutional Advancement
at Indiana Tech is among the worst human beings in the world.

She’s no Hitler, Pol Pot, or Joseph Stalin, but her inhumanity is award-winning like a true sociopath.

Only good thoughts to you, Weez !

Seems TC has had about 5 years to think about how stupid her comment was and would like you to read another stupid comment.

Author: TC (IP: 98.193.211.238, c-98-193-211-238.hsd1.tn.comcast.net)
E-mail: fuckyou@yahoo.com
URL:
Whois: http://whois.arin.net/rest/ip/98.193.211.238
Comment:
Guess who returned to this post….Yes, I read your comments. Yes, you are entitled to your opinions about me and NO, I do not care what you think. I did not approve of her behavior then but I do stand behind her as a good person. None of you were there 20 years ago except Weez and Mary. None of you were there for the trial. And none of you know what is in the mind of Mary or anyone else for that matter. You can say whatever you want about me, religion, God, Christianity, etc….but I will also treat a person as they treat me and Mary has always treated me kindly. So to you posters out there who don’t know me or Mary — it’s really not for you to judge so piss off.

TC would like us to think that she doesn’t care about what I and commenters have had to say about her- which is of course absolute bullshit or she smartly would’ve stayed well and truly away. Nothing smart about TC, which is evidenced by her 1st post originating on an ISP in Portland, Tennessee and her 2nd, 5 years later, from a Comcast account in Nashville. If you can’t extract yourself from Tennessee with 5 years of opportunities to do so, you’re thick as the ankle-deep pig shit you’re standing in.

TC, dear heart, Mary Slafkosky is a criminal. A callous, self-interested criminal who left me for dead in the middle of Meridian Street while she smoked the remaining operable drive wheel (I crushed the other one with my bike & my body) while she was trying to escape responsibility for her crime. Even after she was caught & charged, she still tried to escape responsibility for her crime, using traffic signal timing data from her then-employer, the Indiana Department of Motor Vehicles, to shift the blame on to me, as though being at the wheel with a .18% BAC was somehow otherwise innocent.

Are you getting this? This is who you’re defending! Mary Slafkosky very nearly killed me and wouldn’t have cared if she did, as evidenced by her fleeing the scene and attempting to escape responsibility well and truly after the fact when (one hopes) she would’ve at least had an opportunity to be sober.

Are there any other criminals you’d like to defend? Murderers, perhaps? I guess if they’re christian, they’re OK with you, right?

No. No, no, no.

Go away, TC- and don’t ever come back. Your third contact will constitute stalking- and I have no qualms whatsoever about contacting Comcast and getting your internet service suspended, and/or reporting you to the TBI, FBI, Nashville Police Department and anyone else whom I can get to listen.

Thanks to your angelic attempted-murdering friend, I’m disabled and have nothing else to do with my time. My undivided attention is the last thing on this earth you want.

So, TC, you stand behind Mary as a good person? You’ve read the account of the accident, and have determined this is what good people do? News Flash: When you’ve killed another person, seen the crumpled, broken body of someone’s child/friend/parent/spouse laying in the middle of an unfriendly road late at night, and then you CHOOSE to not care, not help, not cry…but leave that person there to die alone- YOU ARE NOT A GOOD PERSON.

You are certain that none of us were there nearly 25 years ago, TC. I’ve known Weez for 36 years. Never, in any stretch of the imagination, whether he was drunk, sober, happy, or pissed off, would it occur to him to leave ANYONE…friend or enemy…hurt and alone. Never has Weez shirked responsibility. Guess what? That’s just how good people are. You say none of us know what was in Mary’s mind. How many agree with me that it’s a certainty she was thinking, “Oh shit, I gotta get out of here before I get caught/ in trouble” ? Do you really think, TC, that Mary was thinking, “I am so sorry for that man, but can’t stop to help him because I am too good of a person for this.” ????

You say Mary has always treated you kindly. Even in the redneck morass that is Tennessee, surely you’ve heard that you can’t judge a book by its cover? The inside of Mary’s kindly book is a haven for death watch beetles, trust me; there is nothing of worth there. Stay away, TC. Someday you will, hopefully, realize that deeds define a person.