Interpreting HOWLish

September 21st, 2004

I hear language spring from his mouth and I recognise it as English.
Or is it?!

John Howard has his very own patois with it’s very own meaning called HOWLish.

HOWLish is tricky.

When HoWARd says he has a policy of taking pre-emptive action against terrorist groups in neighbouring nations, he actually means ‘Would you prefer a pre-emptive strike on Wednesday or would Friday be better?’

HoWARd Lies!

Remember to convert HOWLish to English whenever you hear him speak.
Just think of the opposite intent from whatever he is saying and you have mastered the language.

In HOWLish unequivocal becomes ‘can I get back to you on that’, instantaneous becomes ‘in the fullness of time.’

PM rattier than Rodents

September 19th, 2004

Rodents all over Australia are accessing counsellors for debriefing as PM John Howard continues to Lie!

Even the rattiest of rodents such a young Lenin, pictured below, are being out-ratted.

Weapons, Waffles, Apathy

September 18th, 2004

My election day outfit has arrived.
Thanks to Mr. Dinner, "toothpaste" to his friends.
What do you think?

I, like many people, will not give up reminding everyone of the illegality of the Invasion of Iraq by the coalition of the Willing.

Whatever it takes.
Including oblique prompts to WMD across my bazookas.
I’m doing it!

Oil underfoot for the Conga line of suckholes

September 17th, 2004

I caught Aldo Borgu on Radio National today.

He spoke of research conducted in Australia which has assessed how the invasion of Iraq by the coalition of the willing influences the way voters make their decision in the Federal election on 09 October.

According to Aldo, the war in Iraq rates very lowly in the Australian voter Psyche.

I am one voter who disagrees.

I am as angry at what is happening in my name now, as I was for the months before we all protested in March 03.

At that time, I could smell a putrid stench of eminent death and destruction.
That smell intensifies every day that we remain in Iraq.
Without voter action there is little hope of Defence policy change.
Get active!

Downer ‘unaware’ kidnappers paid hostage $2

September 16th, 2004

Mark Latham is very upset that Howard and Downer did not tell him about the special defense and police team that had already flown to Iraq as part of contingency planning in the event it was necessary to attempt a rescue of kidnapped Australians.

This must refer to the hostage negotiators.

Foreign Affairs Minister Alexander Downer was blunt when he was asked about reports of SAS involvement.

"No, no, there’s no SAS. The regiment’s recovery team is on standby at its headquarters inside Campbell Barracks at Swanbourne, near Perth, but was not included in government contingency plans activated on Tuesday." he said.

Mr Howard also rejected Labor claims the Government had breached the so-called caretaker convention by not consulting it about the make-up of a specialist federal police team sent to Iraq.

What?
Since when have the Australian Federal Police (AFP) and the Australian Defence Force (ADF) been interchangeable entities?
Perhaps it’s a typo?
Perhaps D for Dickhead and P for Prick weren’t clearly articulated?

It’s fortunate that the ransom was paid for Sheikh Mohamed Sidbiyani one of Sydney’s leading Shiite clerics because relying on this Government to act honestly or transparently could be fatal.

Update

The Daily Telegraph said the gang demanded $140,000 and kept Sheikh Mohamed Sidbiyani captive for three days before bundling him into the boot of a car, driving him to the town of Mahmoudeya, giving him $2 and freeing him without receiving the ransom because he is a cleric.